Relationships and Interactions in Narratives of Child Abuse: Constancy, Differentiation, and Challenge
Marian W. Roman, PhD, APRN, CS, College of Nursing, University of Tennessee, Knoxville, Knoxville, TN, USA
Through narratives of childhood, adolescence and adulthood in accounts of women survivors of child maltreatment, relationships are demonstrated to be central to seeing abuse for what it was/is, and becoming adept at moving beyond it. Two specific types of relationships were most evident as helpful, thematized as “no matter what” and “saw something in me”. The first category refers to a lengthy healing partnership with a witnessing, constant, non-dominating other (spouse, therapist, sibling or friend).This constant other does not pathologize survivors’ responses in its aftermath. Yet even single, brief interactions with anonymous others could reveal concretely to the injured girl that life could be different and one could be happy in spite of the trauma they have suffered. Some participants’ mimicked positive demeanors of others they observed, but had never met, lifting themselves into a life wherein the act became reality for them. In some stories relationships communicated to the child victim or adult survivor that the self is unique, and valuable, often described thus: “he saw something in me.” Being singled out for positive characteristics, behavior or creativity fostered self-differentiation. In contrast others might communicate that the survivor is “nobody.” Yet even a denigrating other, a perpetrator, or an annihilating parent who denies abuse and belittles the child, can move the survivor forward in her trajectory. These relationships often provided momentum forward as the survivor determined to prove others’ messages as false. Connecting with others and career success was sometimes an outcome of oppositional, risk-taking response to others’ negativity. Implications for parenting, professional care giving, and school environments will be discussed.